Comparison steals your joy and money

Tuesday, April 25, 2017 1 Comments



One of the worst things you can do is compare your life to someone else's. Comparison can suck the joy from your life and the money from your wallet. This is now even easier to experience thanks to reality tv, Instagram, blogs, and celebrity news coverage. We spend hours looking at the lives of everyone else and in turn, we pick apart our own, wondering why we aren't that successful or why we don't we have more money. The list could go on and on. And in the end, you'll never feel like you are ever enough.

"...learn to condition your brain to not view someone's success as a reflection of your own failure."

This is probably the most self-destructive behavior in which you can indulge. This not only drains your motivation but it can also lead to emotional spending, drinking, eating, etc. All of which leads to unhappy conclusions. Being exposed to constant updates of how successful everyone else is can lead to feelings of inadequacy if they are not processed properly. You have to learn to condition your brain to not view someone's success as a reflection of your own failure.

Comparison is a natural human reaction and a habit that we will probably never be able to break. Here are some suggestions I think can help with this common and most times destructive response:

1. Stay in your lane - I truly believe there is room enough for everyone's passion in life. The universe made room for you to exist and that's reason enough to prove your value. Never feel like you can't do something because you don't look, sounds, or have the same things as others. Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.

2. Everyone has demons - just because someone appears to have the perfect life doesn't mean they do. Most times the ones who appear unscathed are the most tortured souls. My grandmother always told me to never wish for someone's life as you don't know what they did (or are still doing) to get it.

3. You're losing focus - when you spend time focusing on what other's have you lose focus on what you could have. Spend time trying to figure out what you like to do and what you are good at doing. Also, keep in mind that no one was born an expert. Usually, you have to find something that interests you and with repetition, you eventually become an expert.

4. Comparison isn't all that bad - keep in mind guys that comparison can actually be a good thing... when used constructively. Let's say you see a number of people with your dream life. I would suggest doing some research on these individuals to figure out the steps they took to achieve their success. This is a far better use of your time since you are actively (or even subconsciously) re-wiring your brain to put these changes into effect.

We are all guilty of comparison and it's not something you can or should avoid. In a sense, comparison allows you to constantly perform self-assessments. This can be a good thing if viewed objectively. The trick is to become as emotionally intelligent as you can in order to constructively evaluate why you feel the need to compare yourself to others. Is it a sign that you are living on auto-pilot? Or a lack of accomplishments? Whatever it may be, I encourage you to be as rational as possible when comparing your life to others. I truly believe everyone is resourceful enough to become the version of themselves they desire.

"Close your eyes and imagine the best version of you possible. That's who you really are. Let go of any part of you that doesn't believe it." - C. Assaad

Love,
Ruseberry









1 comment:

  1. Hi Ruseberry,
    Thanks for your videos on YouTube.
    And thanks for this article.
    Thoses things really helped me to keep going.
    I'm a Brazilian system analyst that moved to Vancouver and now I'm starting looking for a new job in web development area.
    I wish you the best. Thank you again.
    Att,
    Edmarcio Guedes

    ReplyDelete